Losing Control
by Latecomer
Summary: With newborn twins and a new house to unpack, Monica freaks out over losing control over her time and space. Chandler tries to help her understand. This is an entry to the fanfiction contest on Friends-Boards.com


_This is an entry to the fanfic contest at Friends-boards.com on the Monica and Chandler's first night in their new house. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!_

**LOSING CONTROL**  
  
"Chandler! Slow down!" Monica cried.  
  
"Stop being such a backseat driver, honey," Chandler remonstrated. "Just focus on the twins!"  
  
"Yeah, but that big truck on your left was about to sideswipe you – look OOOUUUUT!"  
  
Chandler jammed the breaks and whirled around to face Monica, his face contorted with frustration. "For G-d's sake, Monica, PLEASE calm down! You will never be able manage the babies if you get so uptight over every little thing! Breathe, babe! Take a breath!"  
  
Monica exhaled deeply and leaned back, exhausted. "This is the first time I've ever sat in the back seat. with you in the drivers seat," she admitted. "It feels kind of disconcerting to lose control." She was sitting squashed in the middle of the Porsche, with the twins strapped up in their respective car seats on either side of her.  
  
Chandler eased the vehicle onto the Henry Hutchinson Bridge.  
  
"So, this is it," he mused. "We've left the past decade of our life behind. All the memories are gone. Our new life is ahead of us. This is so exciting... and scary, too."  
  
"Yeah," Monica replied, staring out the window. "It's gonna feel kind of strange not to see the gang every day." She paused. "I'm gonna miss them. I wonder how Rachel and Ross's new romance will develop... I wonder how Phoebe and Mike's babymaking project will work out... and what will happen to Joey now, with us away...." Her voice trailed off.  
  
They were both silent for a while.  
  
"Do you think we did the right thing by moving away?" Monica said, her voice tinged with doubt. "I mean, I know we are going to LOVE the new house -- I am already in love with it -- but I will really miss what we had..."  
  
"Are you kidding? The filth and pollution of the city? The four flights of stairs we had to navigate every day? How were you planning to drag that double stroller up those stairs?"  
  
"You're right," Monica said, suddenly excited. "We have our own real house! We can sit out in our back yard or our front lawn with the babies frolicking on the ground... I can't wait to decorate it... Oh, the possibilities!"  
  
"I sure won't miss the lack of privacy and Joey eating our food," Chandler laughed.  
  
"You're so right about that too. We're not in our twenties anymore. We're past the stage when everyone and their girlfriends can just troop in and out of our house at any time of the day or night. Remember when Rachel walked in on us trying to celebrate Valentine's Day two years ago and ruining it? Or Joey walking into the apartment when we were trying to conceive last year? I can count numerous times when they just barged in, irrespective of what we were doing at the time – even just recently when we were trying to have couple's night with Phoebe and Mike. It was fine for us then, but now with a real family, we do need to get away from that 'hanging out' mentality and just be our own private family!" She was getting worked up. "Oh, Chandler, what a pity I'm not sitting in the front seat so I could hug you now!"  
  
"That _would_ be bad for this trip, you know," Chandler remarked wryly.  
  
Monica laughed. "What I _will_ miss though, is the coffee house," she said. "I'll miss having a central place to sit around and talk with our friends."  
  
"Well, I guess you'll have to get reacquainted with the gadget called the telephone," Chandler grinned. "Plus, you can invite them over ever weekend for coffee and dinner – you get to be the hostess once again! That will be so amazing, won't it?"  
  
"You bet!" Monica squeaked. "Chandler, I love you!"  
  
Chandler smiled. "Anyway, I don't think we'd have much time to hang out at the coffee house anymore, with two newborns... they will take up most of your time, just wait and see."  
  
"Not me, super organized woman! Look how quiet they've been on the trip so far!"  
  
"Sure, Supermom – we've been in the car for exactly twenty minutes. Just wait til they both wake up at the same time, hungry, in need of a change and cranky..."  
  
"How do you know so much about babies?" Monica asked suspiciously.  
  
"Let's just say I've been reading up on the subject," he said with a smile.  
  
His timing couldn't have been better. Just at that moment both babies awoke, and began crying. Monica was helpless. She tried to calm them both down with their pacifiers, but they wouldn't be placated. She took Jack out of his car seat and held him against her shoulder. He immediately calmed down, but Erica still wailed.  
  
"Faster, faster!" she cried. "Drive faster!"  
  
Chandler's eyes opened wide and he stared at her through the rearview mirror.

Six hours later, the couple sat on the couch, exhausted beyond words. Erica and Jack were finally asleep. Boxes were stacked every which way in all of the rooms. Furniture were in the correct rooms but all covered in up in brown butcher paper. Baby paraphernalia was everywhere. Not a thing was unpacked; Chandler and Monica had been occupied for hours with feeding, changing, bathing, rocking and quieting the kids. They were bleary eyed from the lateness of the hour and the sheer volume of their workload.  
  
"Chandler," Monica cried. "For the first time, I think I've been given a challenge to big to handle!"  
  
"Shhh," Chandler comforted her. "Come here."  
  
He led her out to the backyard. It was beautifully landscaped with pretty bushes and flowerbeds. A fountain was installed in the center, with streams of water flowing down in rivulets. Flamingos encircled the fountain, which was bathed in soft embedded lights. Monica's eyes opened wide in shock. "When did you take care of all of this?"  
  
Chandler smiled. "Let's just say that this is my housewarming gift to you."  
  
Her eyes were still round as saucers as Chandler led her over to the far corner of the yard, to some lawn chairs that were arranged in a semicircle around a wicker coffee table, underneath a leafy overhead canopy of trees.  
  
"Sit down there, I'll make you a cold drink," he ordered.  
  
Sighing with pleasure, Monica sank into the chair and closed her eyes, letting the romance of the moment wash over her. Presently, Chandler appeared with some ice cold lemonade. He handed her a drink and sat down beside her.  
  
Monica took a sip. "I was always the most organized person on the planet," she mused. "You know that, Chandler – I'm neurotic to a fault. But now, with the twins and a brand new house, I feel that we've bitten off more than we can chew. I'm so scared that I won't be a competent mother and housekeeper. Look how much time these twins take away from us. How will I ever cook and keep the house organized? And handle a job on top of all this? This is so beyond my control! I don't know what I'll do!"  
  
Chandler took her hand in his. "Don't worry, honey, everything will be taken care of. Firstly, I ordered a maid to come in tomorrow afternoon once everything is unpacked, to take care of the cleaning. Secondly, Joey and Phoebe told me I can count on them if we need help tomorrow; they'll come right over to watch the babies or something. But if you look at the long term picture, the babies won't be tiny and helpless forever. Soon they will outgrow the needy stage, and they will be so... so cute." He smiled at Monica, who smiled back at him. "They will begin crawling and sitting up and babbling. They will be cuddly and cute and lovable. This is what we've been waiting forever for... and we have to embrace the changes that come with it."  
  
Monica looked down at the grass. "You're right." She sighed. "But I'm still having a very hard time getting used to the fact that I am no longer in control of everything. The babies are now in control – they call the shots. They are the ones who set our schedules!"  
  
"Monica, remember how bummed out we both were when we found out we couldn't have children?" he said softly. "It was such a slap in the face. Now _that_ was where we both lost control. That was a very bad kind of loss. We always think so much is in our control – whom we date, whom we marry, our careers, our choices of residence. We were shown then that there is so much in life that we do not have control over. But that was the negative kind. Now, control has been wrested from your hands for the sweetest reasons ever... for the dream that you have been yearning for, for such a long time."  
  
He held both hands in his and put his face close to hers. "I think, honey, that it's time to relinquish control, and let our beautiful children be our masters."  
  
Monica's eyes filled with tears. "You are so right, Chandler. This is what we've been praying for. This is what we wanted. We got it now. We have a new life in the suburbs... we have a family... you bet our lives are in our control! We have two beautiful tiny things to care for and love. So what if the house is a flying mess? So what if...if the phone pen isn't always put back in place? We are _fortunate_ to have two tiny little beings to mess it up for us! Yes, I gladly want to lose control of my time, space, and order to our beloved babies."  
  
They smiled at each other. Chandler yawned widely. "Well, since you're giving up control, does that mean I can control **you** now, for a change?"  
  
Monica laughed heartily. "Never on your life, buddy!"  
  
Chandler rose and put his arm around her. "Let's go grab a couple of hours of sleep while we can. There's a lot to do tomorrow."  
  
"Now _that_ I call taking control," she said with a big grin. "Thank you for helping me see the light. Thanks for changing my perspective." She yawned. "Boy, these are contagious. Let's go."  
  
Arm in arm, they walked back into their brand new house, into their new lives that were beyond their control.


End file.
